Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
