he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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