I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
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She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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