I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
All the doctor said was why
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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