Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
