I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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