What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
