I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Randomize
