im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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