Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Randomize
