I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Randomize