I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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