I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Randomize