I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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