At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
