idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
