and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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