Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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