Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
