you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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