i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Randomize
