When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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