Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Randomize
