Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
