I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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