Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
