you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Why can't burritos get me drunk
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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