but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
