so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
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