Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Randomize
