Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Randomize
