He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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