I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
