brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
