I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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