Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
