...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
