Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
