if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize