considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
