I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Randomize
