did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
