I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
