She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
