Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
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