What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
