I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
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It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
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It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
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