is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
