Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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