speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize
