he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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