Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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