im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
