god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
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