Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
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oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
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That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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