he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
