Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Randomize
