oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Randomize
